Jeff, the A.D.D. Chef

The first time I discovered this chicken - a Perdue Oven Stuff Roaster - I had three work-related deadlines hanging over me which propelled me into a state of inaction¹, a sort of paralysis that afflicts A.D.D.ers. (See: Getting Beyond A.D.D. Paralysis.)

I wasn’t exactly sure what to do with this chicken. I kind of looked at the instructions, scratched my head and then grabbed the garlic salt. I figured you can’t get healthier than that. Garlic - keeps away polio and vampires² - and salt - brings out the best of most any food item³ In addition, both of these are part of that all important spice pyramid (analogous to the Food Pyramid). The other members of the spice pyramid are pepper, ketchup and hot sauce.)

After removing the wrapper, I found that the chicken’s innards were inside all nicely wrapped. I took that and tossed it. I then rinsed the bird with cold water and placed it on a platter for a moment so some of the water could drip off. Then I sprinkled garlic salt all over it. Actually, it was more like a blizzard. I turned the chicken this way and that way to cover as much of the outside with the garlic salt.

I then heated up my 3-burner Weber grill. After I pinned the needle on the grill thermometer, I turned off the middle burner, placed the chicken in the middle with the temperature pop-up thingie facing up, and then adjusted the temperature to bring it to about 325 degrees F. Then I basically ignored it and just checked periodically that the temperature remained kind of steady. About one and a half hours later, the result was this browned chicken with an extraordinarily crunchy skin. When I sliced it open, the meat was so moist that even the breast meat tasted good. (I prefer dark meat.) The kids loved it and I now had the perfect A.D.D. zone-out dinner to make. Garlic-salt it, bake it and forget it! A.D.D. nirvana…available in the poultry department of your local supermarket!

1. Hmmm….can you be “propelled” into “inaction”, i.e., an action to get into non-action? Sheesh…talk about logical conundrums. [↩]
2. Note this interesting snippet from Wikipedia: “A Christian myth considers that after Satan left the Garden of Eden, garlic arose in his left footprint, and onion in the right.” I can ignore this myth. I’m Jewish. See: Garlic [↩]
3. There are exceptions. It’s terrible with milk. Yecch. [↩]